Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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