My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Drunk is not a location!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
