My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
