Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
