If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
