So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector