My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"