Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.