Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..

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(925): I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand.. http://tfl.nu/3ekb

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(845): View more from New York

Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?

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(845): Do brothers usually kiss their sisters? http://tfl.nu/7etx

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(323): View more from California

I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.

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(323): I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom. http://tfl.nu/rbnh

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(650): View more from California

how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?

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(650): how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths? http://tfl.nu/djnw

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon

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(403): well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon http://tfl.nu/7c63

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.

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(215): So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me. http://tfl.nu/xxo9

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney

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(215): Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney http://tfl.nu/cbnm

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(720): View more from Colorado

It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.

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(720): It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer. http://tfl.nu/gu1j

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(740): View more from Ohio

Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!

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(740): Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE! http://tfl.nu/i7pp

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.

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(479): Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students. http://tfl.nu/ij14

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(847): View more from Illinois

I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.

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(847): I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it. http://tfl.nu/gdcc

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(417): View more from Missouri

Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.

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(417): Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently. http://tfl.nu/jfkc

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.

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(610): its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate. http://tfl.nu/xmo4

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(616): View more from Michigan

I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time

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(616): I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time http://tfl.nu/iio9

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(515): View more from Iowa

I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.

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(515): I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom. http://tfl.nu/zme8

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