Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He felt like a one man threesome
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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