The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
His hands were made for my vagina.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize