ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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