The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
