The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
