can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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