Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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