I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
