MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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