So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
