bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
