Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
