How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member