Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.