omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize