I must be too annoying 4 u.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
