Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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