How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Do vagina's smell?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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