I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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