no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize