I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
