It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
