I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
