Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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