do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
