I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
