Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
