I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize