Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize