whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
thus making me awesome and them whores
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
