Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize