I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize