after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
