We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I need a burrito and a hug.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
