I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
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I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
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I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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