Don't you send me to vm
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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