she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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