Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
