I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
