Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize