She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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