his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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