And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
