Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
