Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Ladies don't puke and tell
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
