what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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