I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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