Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
