Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
two words: eviction party
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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