so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
