My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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