I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
