Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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