remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
