Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Me too!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
