I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
