Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Randomize