i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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