im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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