This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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