I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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