haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
